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a study in somnambulence
in this sea of stars
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eyes flutter shut
I'm a slave to the system I inhabit. To my good and bad habits. To my have-nots and my have-to-have-its. I'm a civilized savage.

- 'Slave (Short Piece)', Epik High
26th-Mar-2008 06:23 pm - for jaemint, a piece of my soul
Misc - Mikki : sit in the spotlight

i will write a post-birthday post maybe tomorrow, but today i'll just post something for my jasmine. idk what's going on, bb love, but i'm sorry, and i wish i could take the hurt away.


a soliloquy:  to the sea (or, breaking my heart to heal your hurts)

and it's like a hammer to the heart
(this is how it breaks)
when the world takes


you


for granted.
(this is how it

shatters, a fist to the mirror,
a spiderweb of cracks on the glass, shards
and blood digging back into flesh.)


and it's like a hammer to the heart
(another blow)
when all i want to do
is to hold you

(i would swim oceans for you,)
and i all can do is cradle your heart
with phonecalls and fragments
(words) from my soul.


[for jasmine lau yuen hwa]

Misc - Mikki : sit in the spotlight
sometimes i hate being such an effing empath. and i don't mean empath in the common sense: i mean empath in  parapsychology. technically they call it clairsentience:

Clairsentience (feeling/touching)

In the field of parapsychology, clairsentience [From the French clair, “clear,” + sentience, “feeling,” ultimately derived from the Latin clarus, “clear,” + sentiens, derived from sentire, “to feel”] is a form of extra-sensory perception wherein a person acquires psychic knowledge primarily by means of feeling. 

Generally the term refers to a person who can feel the vibration of other people. There are many different degrees of clairsentience ranging from the perception of diseases of other people to the thoughts or emotions of other people. The ability differs from third eye in that this kind of ability can not have a vivid picture in the mind. Instead, a very vivid feeling can form.

(from Wikipedia, underlines are mine)

assdfklfjlkfljfkhj; yes. i'm not really into the whole parapsychology thing, but i can't deny empath tendencies. 

most of the time, i just sense how people feel. just being in close proximity with someone allows me to pick those feelings up. like right now. my senior's definitely bored. lol (i'm at work). sometimes, i can actually tune the feelings out, which is nice. but i don't have total control over my clairsentience, so sometimes, my senses pick everything up, and it makes me physically ill. (too many feelings!) oh the headaches. 


most of the time, it's good to have the senses on. happy feelings=good day. this is the reason why i enjoy being with my friends a lot.

but sometimes i get so worked up over nothing. as it turns out, i absorb other people's negative feelings without meaning to. like today. my boss was full of major negative energy - mostly due to the fact that i'm resigning. i spoke with her today, and it gave me a headache. srsly. it's making my head spin. oh the pressures of being in charge, she has so many worries. i feel sorry for my boss, but i can't help but get a little pissed off with the level my empath senses are on. dammit. can't concentrate. can't channel the feelings out either, because i've already gotten a headache, and that means i'm doomed to malfunction for the next few hours.

there's a 98% chance that this post didn't make sense, considering the MONSTER headache i've got right now, but i need to channel out the unwanted feelings. GAH.

I NEED TO FIND SOMEONE, SOMEONE WHO IS DELIRIOUSLY HAPPY, TO TALK WITH RIGHT NOW, BECAUSE THIS HEADACHE WILL BE THE DEATH OF ME.

HALP!

 

9th-Nov-2007 03:48 am - Just one of those days (again. Gah.)
Misc - Mikki : sit in the spotlight
Because I couldn't help being such a retarded sap tonight. A poem.


Love at First Sight
Wislawa Szymborska

Love at First SightCollapse )
 
[info]heaven_spawn, this was what i was telling you about earlier.
16th-Aug-2007 02:53 pm - Relative Distance(s)
Misc - Mikki : sit in the spotlight

EDIT:  Finally, a title! {27 August 2007}

Surely
maps are useful for plotting,
determining distances
between two (or more) points
across oceans
and beyond territorial lines.
But we have no need for maps,
you and i,
as no cartographer
can trace the meridians
                   of memory that originates
           from your soul
   to mine;
the latitudes
 of longing, and the longitudes
                                 of loneliness


that measure  unconditional love.

 this exercise
of graphing the landscape of our hearts will go on:

 until the day we find ourselves again in the vicinity
 of each other

 --once and for all.


(For my mother, and for my best friend Pao, to the United Arab Emirates, and to New York, from Manila, with all of me. This is also for those with loved ones overseas, especially to the children of OFWs.)

11th-Aug-2007 01:34 pm - stanzas of surrender
Misc - Mikki : sit in the spotlight



i.
Sometimes
the rolling one's shoulders

becomes 

                      a burden

instead of giving relief,

and breathing
becomes a restriction, 



                       not release. 





ii. crushed
is something
you get out of lies
packaged as truth. 




iii. often, in the height of youth,

old age
           catches up with you,

and life becomes succulent feed
to unwelcome, and unshakable, saphrophytes. 




iv. and there are mornings when peanut butter
and migraines are spread liberally on toast,

paired with poached eggs
                 whose yolks hide despair,


and served with 
              looming
disappointment

stirred 
        into the orange juice,

offered on a silver serving tray.
Misc - Mikki : sit in the spotlight
Since I am someone with no opinion on things (read: v. ambivalent), I am trying to exercise this v. much neglected right of mine. (or I try to.)


On the issue of the dress code in church:

Read more...Collapse )



On Pinoy Big Brother 2Collapse )


On MarimarCollapse )


Oh, and I am loving all the Rupert Grint photos that are coming out, as well as the OotP promo pics. I'm so excited to see the film!
13th-Jun-2007 07:50 pm - A lesson in Chemistry
Misc - Mikki : sit in the spotlight
Matter

her skin made slow soft sighs
where his fingertips traced little electric kisses,
as his lips murmured sweet incoherent sounds
not so different from the gentle whoosh of breathing.

her body was no longer planes and angles as she was scooped up
by the arms that bore marks of her affection--
he never remembered how the scratches got there, as she did--
she was now fluid, taking the shape of the body that held her close.

then, as he traced the invisible fissure of heat from her neck to her navel,
she became volatile, rising higher as each wave of exquisite fire
brought her closer to him.

his touch soothed her fevered state and she soon felt compact again,
as he placed her head on his chest, his arms around her waist,
and they lose themselves to inevitable sleep and to the steady rhythm
of their hearts.

RMMF, 13 June 2007


I love you f-list. And because Pao wants to read my poetry.
21st-May-2007 10:26 am - On "UN's War Against Children"
Misc - Mikki : sit in the spotlight
I am not the most politically-knowledgeable person there is, but I care about the ways of the world and how it affects my life.

Read more...Collapse )
31st-Aug-2006 10:08 am - mushed
Misc - Mikki : sit in the spotlight
Cycle

In this dark,
I trace
the contours
of your face,
and with my eyes
closed,
I feel
the tips of my fingers
flitting softly,
like butterfly wings
on your skin.

Impatient,
your mouth
finds mine
and then I

fall



all over again.



*****

I miss LJ, but I never have anything to write about anymore. :(
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